TheVictim.

By: TellMeSomethingThatIDon’tknow.

When we became friends, my world was normal. Wake up, go to school, come home, and go to sleep. When we talked on the phone, I fell for you. Not in love, or even love, but I fell hard. That was the fastest I had ever been attracted to someone, ever. Then when you came to see me, everything changed. That kiss you took, and I willingly gave made me stop breathing and I knew then this was right. The night I spent with you was a night I can say hands down, changed me. I’ve never felt so alive with someone in my whole life, and I wouldn’t change the person it was for the world. Days seemed to melt together with you, it was fantastic. But then you went home, and things were still good, my heart ached for you, but I knew I’d see you again. Then things weren’t going your way I was crushed. I wanted nothing more to see you happy. You had to move back and that was when I could feel things were going to get tough, BUT I felt we could get through it. Seeing you was good, but I took my anger and fear of losing the one the one thing I had truly learned to trust out on you, causing you and I to clash. But then you got a car, and started working, so I saw you less and less. This worried me. I didn’t understand that what you were going through and I should’ve listened more. I should’ve backed off, but I didn’t want you to think I didn’t love you. You were my most thought about person, and the only one who could make my heart almost beat out of my chest. I planned to lose my virginity with you, and in such short notice, I knew it was what I wanted. But suddenly you just don’t feel for me anymore what you said you once felt. That phone call, I could hear it in your voice, the way you tried to play off the “You don’t love me” game when I said I loved you. My heart sank into the acids of my stomach, and I tried more than anything to keep those tears from coming. So you wouldn’t see me vulnerable, so you wouldn’t see how hurt you made me feel. Like I was yesterday’s trash, like you were full and wanted no more of what I once was to you. You said you loved me. You said you were IN love with me. Love like that just doesn’t die; WE just can’t die like that. You never gave us a chance, and if you didn’t plan on it then you shouldn’t have gone through with us.  I begged, you know this, I BEGGED for you to love me again. Do you know how humiliating that is? To want someone to love you still SO bad that you sob, and hiccup, and choke, on pleads for them to love you again? All you could say was that you didn’t love me romanticly anymore, but HOW? HOW could you not love me, just like that? Please do tell so I can do the same with you, so I don’t feel like a worthless nothing sitting in my bed staring at my ceiling, lying where you would lay next to me, trying to sleep where you said you loved me.  I have never wanted anyone more then you, and I know you know this, but you are my other half. My sun and moon, and all the things that make me smile. I know for a FACT I can move on eventually, and live my life, and find someone who won’t just drop me like a used wrapper, but I don’t want to. I want you to see that we are meant to be, that I love you, and you should love me too. You ripped me in half, and then in half again. I know you need your space and aren’t ready, but when you are I’ll be here for you. As long as your happy, I’m happy. 

When we became friends, my world was normal. Wake up, go to school, come home, and go to sleep. When we talked on the phone, I fell for you. Not in love, or even love, but I fell hard. That was the fastest I had ever been attracted to someone, ever. Then when you came to see me, everything changed. That kiss you took, and I willingly gave made me stop breathing and I knew then this was right. The night I spent with you was a night I can say hands down, changed me. I’ve never felt so alive with someone in my whole life, and I wouldn’t change the person it was for the world. Days seemed to melt together with you, it was fantastic. But then you went home, and things were still good, my heart ached for you, but I knew I’d see you again. Then things weren’t going your way I was crushed. I wanted nothing more to see you happy. You had to move back and that was when I could feel things were going to get tough, BUT I felt we could get through it. Seeing you was good, but I took my anger and fear of losing the one the one thing I had truly learned to trust out on you, causing you and I to clash. But then you got a car, and started working, so I saw you less and less. This worried me. I didn’t understand that what you were going through and I should’ve listened more. I should’ve backed off, but I didn’t want you to think I didn’t love you. You were my most thought about person, and the only one who could make my heart almost beat out of my chest. I planned to lose my virginity with you, and in such short notice, I knew it was what I wanted. But suddenly you just don’t feel for me anymore what you said you once felt. That phone call, I could hear it in your voice, the way you tried to play off the “You don’t love me” game when I said I loved you. My heart sank into the acids of my stomach, and I tried more than anything to keep those tears from coming. So you wouldn’t see me vulnerable, so you wouldn’t see how hurt you made me feel. Like I was yesterday’s trash, like you were full and wanted no more of what I once was to you. You said you loved me. You said you were IN love with me. Love like that just doesn’t die; WE just can’t die like that. You never gave us a chance, and if you didn’t plan on it then you shouldn’t have gone through with us.  I begged, you know this, I BEGGED for you to love me again. Do you know how humiliating that is? To want someone to love you still SO bad that you sob, and hiccup, and choke, on pleads for them to love you again? All you could say was that you didn’t love me romanticly anymore, but HOW? HOW could you not love me, just like that? Please do tell so I can do the same with you, so I don’t feel like a worthless nothing sitting in my bed staring at my ceiling, lying where you would lay next to me, trying to sleep where you said you loved me.  I have never wanted anyone more then you, and I know you know this, but you are my other half. My sun and moon, and all the things that make me smile. I know for a FACT I can move on eventually, and live my life, and find someone who won’t just drop me like a used wrapper, but I don’t want to. I want you to see that we are meant to be, that I love you, and you should love me too. You ripped me in half, and then in half again. I know you need your space and aren’t ready, but when you are I’ll be here for you. 

I’m over us, but I will never be over you.

I hope your happy, because I sure fucking aren’t.